Now this may sound obvious, but honestly feel zero shame in crying till you look like Quasimodo. I used to judge my mates for being SO OTT when they got dumped until karma bit me on my own arse and I myself, was crying at 4am like I’d just watched Pearl Harbour for the first time. Put some sad films on, play some sad music and let it all out because breakups are really, really sad.
- HAVE A PSYCHOTIC BREAKDOWN
Or five. You owe it to yourself to vent all your post-getting-dumped anger and where better to release said anger than by keying your ex’s car (if your ex even had their own car), bricking their windows, burning their clothes, telling their mum about their secret underlying drug addiction… The possibilities are endless.
- GET SPIRITUAL
After releasing your aforementioned anger, it might be time to calm down and focus on your own inner peace. Learn a new skill, volunteer (until you realise that getting dumped hasn’t changed the fact you’re not a people person), practise yoga (for a week), write a novel about your own heartbreak experiences (till you find a new guy to distract you and you forget all about it).
- FIND A REBOUND
Or a few, whatever floats your boat. It’ll remind you that not all guys are rats. Plus, if getting dumped made you feel as desirable as a quadvod at 8am, remind yourself you’re still a ten by dipping a toe back in the dating waters. Little tip though: rebounds are hardly ever that great, take it from someone who had to endure the world’s most horrific dishwasher kiss at the end of a date *SHUDDERS*.
- GO OUT
The worst thing you can do when you’re sad about being dumped is stay in and think about all the times you didn’t have to sit in alone. If you’ve just got out of a relationship, it might be time to invest as much time as you did in your relationship back into your friendships. Go out, distract yourself, dance, laugh, make new memories with the people who’ve never let you down.
- FOCUS ON YOUR OWN HOT BOD
Okay, so you might go the gym once and realise you can’t be bothered investing as much time into your ‘revenge body’ as Khloe Kardashian did, but still do stuff that you want to do. Focus on yourself, your goals, your friends and family, anything that makes you happy. Spend the money you would have otherwise spent on your other half, on yourself (just DON’T spend it on a haircut that you’ll regret instantly to debut the ‘new you’).
- ACCEPT IT AND GET OVER IT
Yeah, breakups are sad and at first, you’ll probably think you lost the love of your life and you’re going to be alone forever whilst they’re off living the high life. But then one day, you just won’t care at all, because there’s so much more to life than one guy whose name you might not even remember in ten years time. Everything really does happen for a reason and you’ll soon find (at least I did), that your much better off going through a shitty breakup period as opposed to remaining in a shittier relationship. Sometimes getting dumped really is the best thing that can happen to you.