10 things you learn at uni (that have nothing to do with your course)

  1. Some people were raised in a barn in every single sense of that saying. They’ll leave their bedroom door open 24/7 leaving you to witness sights no one should have to, they’ll chew with their mouths open and they’ll leave their shit everywhere. Sometimes you’ll reckon it would be easier to live with an actual animal.
  2. The sports kids are no longer the high school weirdo’s – they basically own university. I went to an all girls school which generally bitchily eye-rolled all the hardcore sports fans who not once used the ‘I’m on my period Miss, I can’t take part sorry!’ excuse. These over energetic fools have their comeuppance at university when basically everyone signs up for something (even if its just for the socials – hello AU nights).
  3. How to survive for three years without ever cooking a proper meal; Tesco Meal Deals, Dominoes offers, McDonalds offers, Deliveroo, Just Eat… why bother?
  4. How to make £3 last two weeks when you’ve spent all your money on takeaways and alcohol = stealing loo rolls from pub toilets and Smart Price Supernoodles anyone?
  5. It’s really overpriced. As an English student my lectures worked out at around £60 each in terms of what I was paying annually. I showed up one day to find the lecturer reading notes off a slideshow and all the information featured was off Sparknotes – a website I’d used at A-Level. Ahh, the rage.
  6. Yet whilst you’re burying yourself in student debt, you’re simultaneously the richest you’ve ever been so far thanks to student loans and grants. Even if that money does last a week, you were rich for a while.
  7. There’s no such thing as a genuine hangover cure. Lining your stomach, antacids, drinking water before bed, paracetemol, fizzy drinks in the morning, exercise (yeah, right), bananas, a fry-up… You’ll try them all but at the end of the day once you’ve pickled your liver you’ve gotta deal with the consequences no matter how painful.
  8. Except Lucozade, Wetherspoons and a nap, but if you can’t make it to the shop/ Spoons – you’re fucked pal.
  9. How to stand up for yourself against the few absolute cocks you’ll meet at university. Living with strangers is bound to form tension because lets face it, some people are selfish dickheads. However, without sounding cliche – it really is character building standing up for yourself, for others, your beliefs, or simply telling people to shut the fuck up when they roll in at 3am the day before you have an exam.
  10. The mates you make at uni are absolutely priceless. Mhairi McFarlane said that ‘University is like this little world, a bubble of time separate from everything before and everything after’ and it’s so true. The experiences you share with your uni mates, living with them, studying with them, going on random nights out, for dinner, random cinema trips etc. All those experiences shape some of the best memories you’ll have and makes you form a unique bond with your uni pals that you don’t have with your friends back home.

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